Sunday, May 21, 2006 - :

he said it two days ago..
why he love me?
why he thought i made him feel special?
its strange..
but todae he was weird...
he hurt me a few times..he thought..
but i chose not to be affected by this..
there's alot of other things that's worth occupying my mind.
my schedule's tight...
time seems to pass very fast and its suffocating
time really has a bad habit of slipping away...

todae damn bz..
i'm tired
yet i still can't sleep
thinking..
thinking bout nothing..
maybe bout life...but what about it?
maybe bout todae...no i dun think so...
nothing, seems the best word to describe it..

there's a lot of thing, as i said, i learnt when i werk
and one of the thing i've learnt from thisdis damn f&b place is,
revenge is a dish best served cold...
i noe its sounds mean but that's what my werkplace had taught me..
to be mean

i miss real people
people who loves me,
people who cherished me
i miss my friends
poly..sec...
i miss my fam,
i miss my bf,
but it seems like they're missing in my new complicated life
maybe bcoz they're real
simple and not complicated
and dats why they're not in the picture

i was saddened by the fact that i cant decide and make choices
and dats why i'm stuck here
i wanted so much to tell edwin what i really felt bout him..
i wanted so much to talk to sufyian's wife
i wanted so much to tell my boss how uncomfortable i am with him around
i wanted so much to quit
i wanted so much to tell nathan dat i'm sorry.
i wanted so much to tell my boyfriend i love him very much and every day he is my strength ..and i love him more now
but then i can't
the reason, unknown.

I've got it all,
but I feel so deprived
I go up,
I come down
and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing
that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go
There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...Trippin' out thinkin' there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... There's gotta be more
I've got the time
and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half-way out the door
Onto the next thing,
I'm searching for something that's missing

~ **** EnUF sAiD ****~ 3:41 AM

Saturday, May 13, 2006 - :

at my workplace all the aunties love complaining and accused people..
they're like supervisors there.
they are realli disturbing.. act nice in front

i noe sometimes people are abit bias when it comes to me
and sometimes people are envious incuding the aunties
u noe, the head chef is nice to me yet he'll find ways to scold others
the chef de partie seems to be xtra nice to me. e.g. cooked for me and stuff
people saw all that and they seems to be unhappy with my presence.
the supervisors treat me dearly
the unit manager always give face to me and joke around with me , gave special attention and privilledge while always find fault with the others
like for e.g.
yesterday, in a hurry, i took the ice cubes messily
the manager saw it and angrily asked who was the culprit
then he knew it was me
but never say anithing
but the aunties were very noisy about his reactions to it and soon it came to my ear
i guiltily admit about my reacions to him,
and to my disbelief he hit my cap (jokingly) and smiled and said its farni..

after dat i was busy,
he asked others to help but the others were also bz at their own counter
i was suprised when he, the unit manager, helped me out when he wasnt suppose to

but to think of it,
he was the one who made the new rule about drawing a line btw the kitchen and the crew
its hard without their help
u see,
at my counter, i have to handle the nasi padang, non-stop-popiah-making-once-i-start, shout for chicken rice, cashiering for BOTH mine and the next counter.
i can't possibly do all these tasks by myself, i'm not a wonderwoman!!
i'm beat!
today i woke up fresh after sleeping for long hrs
i missed those days being able to have a complete sleeep.
huh.. werk again this sun!!

arghh!! my pay!!!

~ **** EnUF sAiD ****~ 1:06 AM

- :

yea..i noe its been awhile since i last updated my entries..
dat doesnt mean nothing happened. in fact dis last two months a lot of things happened but i juz chose to ignore and move on..but it keeps multiplying dat it seems out of control.
well, not gonna talk bout in depth.

phew~!!
i'm tired.
i werked and sch at the same time
but i dunno why, i had fun!
work thot me a lot of things and work also gave me lots of problems
these cotradictions got along well somehow

i fel in and out of love, life and such.
sometimes up and above,
at times down below.
glad knowing there's always a new day ahead.
and yesterday left, leaving behind lessons that i've yet to experience and learn

never i regret each day of my life
but i'm tired
but never will i give up

~ **** EnUF sAiD ****~ 12:37 AM